Tag Archives: Slutty

Because I Can See Your Butt

12 May

For all you guys out there who blatantly ignore social graces and decide to buy pants two sizes too big…consider the fact that it may be impacting your relationship status. We don’t want to see your holey, dirty, plaid and torn boxer shorts hanging out of the top of your jeans.

And for all you ladies out there-don’t think you’re getting off easily. Your pants seem to be fitting you two sizes too small. If I can see your cellulite and your lacy pink thong, we have problems. It’s not attractive…it’s a target for horny guys. Seeing your panties might get a man to take you home for the night, but not home to his parents. It’s disgusting. It’s socially awkward and your friends will be embarrassed to hang out with you if your underwear is pulled up around your love handles and sticking out of the top of your pants. Underwear is called underwear for a reason–keep it under your clothes and out of sight.

…this is why you’re single.