Tag Archives: Sloppy

Because You Use Too Much Tongue

12 May

We love our dogs.  They’re cute.  Fun.  Always excited to see us.  And we welcome their kisses.

But when it comes to you, we don’t want any excited-dog kisses.

There’s nothing wrong with making out.  We’re all for it.  But when we’re wondering why our eyebrow is wet, there’s a problem.  So let’s keep the saliva ratios balanced.  The warning light is going to start flashing when there’s more of your saliva in our mouths, than our own.

So take a hint.  Your tongue is a muscle.  Use it or lose it.

…this is why you’re single.


Because You Play World of Warcraft (WoW…you’re a big loser)

11 May

This is you.

We get it, everyone likes video games…in moderation.

However, when you your video game life starts replacing your real life it’s time to escape.  And that’s what your girlfriend did. You don’t actually know what your best friends look like, your avatar is a female and you are a male, you wish you could meet a girl like that gnome you just killed and you frequently use the terms lol, rofl and pwned in everyday conversation.

Human interaction is necessary for healthy relationships.  Put down the mouse, put on some pants and go to a bar.

…this is why you’re single.