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Because You Smell Like Cigarettes

8 Jul

You don’t see hot girls, or hot guys for that matter, sucking face with an ashtray.  There’s a reason for that, because it’s disgusting.

I don’t know when smoking became socially acceptable, but it’s just as gross as picking your nose and farting in public.  It turns your nails and teeth yellow, it makes you smell and, here’s a fun surprise, it’s going to kill you.

I don’t like to sit next to smokers at movies, let alone have one sleeping next to me in bed.

Even notorious smoker Carrie Bradshaw quit smoking for the dreamy Aidan.

So get the patch, get the gum or go cold turkey.  Do whatever it takes because we (and by we I mean the non-smokers of the world) will appreciate it.  Plus you won’t be killing yourself by smoking that cancer stick.

…this is why you’re single.

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Because You Play World of Warcraft (WoW…you’re a big loser)

11 May

This is you.

We get it, everyone likes video games…in moderation.

However, when you your video game life starts replacing your real life it’s time to escape.  And that’s what your girlfriend did. You don’t actually know what your best friends look like, your avatar is a female and you are a male, you wish you could meet a girl like that gnome you just killed and you frequently use the terms lol, rofl and pwned in everyday conversation.

Human interaction is necessary for healthy relationships.  Put down the mouse, put on some pants and go to a bar.

…this is why you’re single.