Because You’re Orange

4 Jul

Living in Arizona should allow the average person to add a nice summer glow to their skin tone. Just spend 30 minutes out by the pool with a bottle of sun tan lotion and you’re golden…literally. But there are always those people who think the amount of orange on their skin directly correlates with their sex appeal.

I beg to differ.

I’m not going to deny that a guy or girl with a nice tan is usually preferable to transparent, ghostly skin.  But when tan turns into Oompa Loompa orange…it might be time to lay off the tanning booth and consult a dermatologist…or even an oncologist.

This shade of skin is simply unnatural and unhealthy. And
the lengths to which people will go to achieve said color is somewhat amusing.  Hundreds of dollars, constant appointments and hours under a tanning lamp.   

I find also that there is a stereotype associated with these people who might not be too far from the truth. Whether it be the frat boys who survive off of Redbull, vodka and 5 hours at the gym a day (usually wearing flip-flops and board shorts with a  backward hat and aviator sunglasses) or the girls who forgot what their natural hair color is, who wear shorts so short that you know their butt is actually tan too and spend most of their time  so drunk they don’t actually remember what they did the night before.  They wear ultra-low, cleavage popping shirtsand insert “like” between every other word.  Their face does not match the rest of their body because they don’t make a concealer orange enough to blend into their neck. 

…this is why you’re single.


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