Because You Smell Like Cigarettes

You don’t see hot girls, or hot guys for that matter, sucking face with an ashtray.  There’s a reason for that, because it’s disgusting.

I don’t know when smoking became socially acceptable, but it’s just as gross as picking your nose and farting in public.  It turns your nails and teeth yellow, it makes you smell and, here’s a fun surprise, it’s going to kill you.

I don’t like to sit next to smokers at movies, let alone have one sleeping next to me in bed.

Even notorious smoker Carrie Bradshaw quit smoking for the dreamy Aidan.

So get the patch, get the gum or go cold turkey.  Do whatever it takes because we (and by we I mean the non-smokers of the world) will appreciate it.  Plus you won’t be killing yourself by smoking that cancer stick.

…this is why you’re single.

Tags: Behavior, Dating, Kissing, Smoking, Unisex

Because You’re Not These Women

To be fair – and fairness is a very important journalistic ethic – I thought I should do a counterpart to my fellow blogger’s post.  Because you’re not these women…this is why you’re single.

While watching a recent episode of Entourage where E’s extremely whiney, needy and annoying girlfriend Ashley listens to his voicemail unbeknownst to him, I came to understand why men find needy women annoying.

I found myself saying, “Why is E dating this girl?  I want him to dump her so I don’t have to watch her anymore or I’m going to poke my eyes out.”

Tags: Behavior, Confidence, Dating, Relationships, Women

Because You’re Orange

Living in Arizona should allow the average person to add a nice summer glow to their skin tone. Just spend 30 minutes out by the pool with a bottle of sun tan lotion and you’re golden…literally. But there are always those people who think the amount of orange on their skin directly correlates with their sex appeal.

I beg to differ.

Tags: Looks, Style, Tan, Ugly, Unisex

Because You’re Not These Guys

Not too long ago, we (the four female authors of this blog) sat down around a coffee table, mixed drinks in hand, talking about all the guys we would love to be with, if only the stars would align and make our wildest dreams come true.

Granted, since that talk, our wildest dreams have yet to be realized, but we haven’t given up hope that one day one of these guys – or their  incredibly sexy, significantly less famous look-alikes – will walk into our lives and sweep us off our feet.

Until then, feast your eyes on some of the incredible men women think about when they should be thinking about you.

Tags: Confidence, Looks, Men

Because You Don’t Know The Obvious Answers to Certain Questions

Q: Do you think I’m pretty?

Wrong answer: Sure.

Right answer: You’re gorgeous.

Tags: Looks, Unisex, Weight

Because You Don’t Know The Meaning Of The Word ‘No’

If we had to bet, we’d guess that the word ‘no’ was one of the first three words you learned. Heck, it’s one of the first three words any child learns.  They pick it up and latch on quickly, screaming it repeatedly as their mother pulls them away from the toy section at Target.

So don’t try to tell us that you don’t understand when someone tells you ‘no.’  No means no, as the saying goes, and it’s as simple as that.  We know you know that.

Which is why it’s hard to understand why you suddenly lose all concept of the word in certain situations.  Namely, in bed.

Tags: Behavior, Sex, Unisex

Because Texting Us That Often Makes Us Want To Claw Our Eyes Out

Ever seen those TV shows where the woman stands in front of the judge asking for a restraining order against her crazed, obsessive ex-boyfriend?

Well, that’s what your relationship is going to turn into if you keep up those obnoxious, obsessive text messages.

You know the ones: “Hey! How was your day?” or “Just heard a song on the radio and thought of you” or our personal favorite, “Just wanted to say good night.”  In small, controlled doses, text messages like this are cute, sweet, considerate.  And as your relationship continues, these texts are appropriate.

Tags: Behavior, Obsessive, Text Messages, Unisex

Because You Think You’re Too Good For Everyone

He thinks he’s George Clooney, when in reality he’s Curious George. She thinks she’s Heidi Klum, but really she’s Olive Oyl (Popeye’s girlfriend).

We’ve all met, maybe even dated, this mama’s boy, daddy’s little princess or God’s gift to the world. However, this picky dater doesn’t often get a second date because they’re too good for you – or so they think.

This person is looking for the Holy Grail of significant others. Even though this person isn’t perfection personified, they aren’t willing to settle and they want everyone to know it. They are not stopping until they have their perfect husband or wife sitting down to a delicious dinner with their 2.5 children in their flawlessly massive mansion surrounded by precisely manicured shrubs and a white picket fence.

Stop being so picky. You’re not perfect either.

…this is why you’re single.

Tags: Dating, Lonely, Picky, Relationships, Ugly, Unisex

Because You’re Sporting A Ponytail

The only one with long, luscious locks in this relationship should be me (the female author of this blog).  Your attachment to your hair scares me a little, plus it means that you most likely spend more time on your hair than I do.

Whether it’s a side, high or low pony, braided, curly or straight or the ever-feminine half-up, half-down combination, the only American man who can pull off a ponytail is Willie Nelson.

Although this stipulation flies out the window of you are European or South American.  The accent and the exotic thrills foreign men provide cancel out this horrendous hair faux-pas. (See Antonio Banderas and David Beckham)

Here’s a tip from me to you, cut the hair.  Spend less time combing and coiffing your hair, and more time hanging out with us.  We’ll be happier and you’ll look manlier.

…this is why you’re single.

Tags: European, Fashion, Hair, Men, Ponytail, Ugly

Because Your Fetish Scares Us

There once was a woman named Jillian searching for the love of her life on “The Bachelorette.”  We won’t go into the gory details for those of you whose gag reflex goes into overdrive at the mere mention of the TV show, but one of her love interests had a thing for feet.  Yes, feet.

He asked to look at them the first night he met her.  He would always make comments about how nice they were.  He’d rub them for her.  He even talked about how Jillian’s feet were so cute he’d suck on her toes.  The look on Jillian’s face was a mix of shock and horror.  And for those of you who think that’s a good thing, it’s not.

We’re not saying this guy’s foot fetish got him kicked off the show, but we think it was a major factor.  Because let’s face it, some fetishes are weird, some are creepy and some downright scare us.

Tags: Fetish, Underwear, Unisex, Whips and Chains